Brothers and Sisters, I have excerpted the notion of 'Fiddler on the Roof' as I labeled it years ago in my journaling toward Him. My goal in my attempts at written communication is to connect with the suffering of the soul of the reader. Too many suffer in silence, in the isolation of experience, too often misunderstood by those who God ultimately ordained to have the resources of adequate and appropriate understanding and insight regarding such affliction, but the influences of the world impair and clog the sensitivities of the majority, and human nature becomes misguided. Remember there is always hope for the healing of the masses, prayerfully, and desolation recedes into the history of memory as consolation replaces the darkness with even greater intimacy with Our Lord. We must be steadfast and hold tightly to what we ultimately know to be true for He is always faithful.
Fiddler is on the roof, back on the roof again. I hear his footsteps more often than not at the end of the apartment by the loft, the highest point of the building. He prefers to posture himself at the highest pinnacle of any territory as if to exalt his stature which already has been ultimately defeated, permanently and forevermore.
I say 'Fiddler on the roof' because he is a musician on the move. He stomps loudly as he stalks and plays the dreary music of the dead. It is not the pleasant sound of harmony but the imperceptible blare of utter disharmonious mayhem. I only heard the macabre music upon one evening and I refer to it as music for I really do not know what else resembles the inaudible sound.
I ventured out into the kitchen to smoke a cigarette and the defiled euphony of the fallen one, travels across the narrow kitchen area, ushering in a dreadful intonation that manifests as tormenting noise of immaterial distraction to the soul. It evidences no acute and naturally perceptive sound but its haunting communication permeates the atmosphere. It possesses a hazy quality in terms of interior visual perception of soul sense experience impairing the lucidity of environment, yet this invisible construct of sound journeys as a smoky pilot conducting confusion and deception. So I left the room and headed toward my bedroom.
It was many successive nights of ongoing agony and mental torment. I finally asked God one evening about the footsteps of the one I deemed Fiddler. I inquired of Him as to whether or not something or someone was actually treading the rooftop spatially, or was the auditory faculty of my constitution being manipulated to impress upon my mind's reason of perception that someone was indeed walking? Evil spirits do not necessarily have to position themselves upon territory despite holding regional assignment, for they can assail and thus influence the receptivity and observation of ordinary human senses, creating an illusion of such commission readily in terms of preternatural depth perception. Rather than the event or manifestation of a deposit of malevolent entities throughout the recesses of the household in order to occasion various bizarre and aggravating phenomena, one fallen incorporeal being alone could conceivably enter or affix itself to the human organism, enabling it to harass its exterior perception creating not only an alteration of material reality, but the higher goal of such nefarious activity is to plague the human soul already weakened by deprivation of consolation with heightened suffering, meddling with the human interior faculties, which ultimately will boomerang or echo through, thus affect, exhibit, and emerge upon the natural five senses creating disturbance upon its intended sphere of influence. Either way the imagination is effected, emotion is affected creating lability with a final objective of flatness of despair, and the substance of the mind is ultimately tortured.
"It merely does not seek to terrify me, but to terrorize me. It has an agenda for my life, but so does He. The agenda of the Lord is what I must abandon myself to and as of right now, He is asking me gently to trust in Him alone."
One could potentially unravel daily in the dark yet drowning substance of immaterial reality but the Gentle Hand of the pruning Master provides the only pillow of calm from disturbance to rest the soul upon, and the intricate web of that which would seem only to ensnare is the temptation of sensory illusion, not hallucination of reality, but a deeper and grave illusion to the lie of mental rumination that God is not there, does not care, and has abandoned the soul. The mission of the adversary of salvation of God's chosen is to drive the person over the edge of indifference, and the exhausting process of critical harassment via ordinary means and natural circumstance, creates an inexhaustible but fierce perseverance of will, ordering desire, and elevating the soul toward Hope's unseen and unrealized promises of Eternity. The edge of reason propelling us toward Truth does not exist within the circumstance of experience alone, but within the orchestra of the realms of the preternatural, natural, and supranatural, but remains hidden within the natural parameters of the material existence of the life of the Divinely fashioned, mortal creature.
The enemy of God's beloved children exists as a pervasive spirit of eternal death for it breathes destruction in order to sustain itself and to foster and to further its hideous purpose. The more he exhales chaos the more he inhales strength. The more he exudes temptation, the more he imbibes the fortifying aroma ubiquitous to the decayed aftermath of mortal sin, inebriating himself with the fruit of his gluttonous malefaction.
"Jesus also calls the demon "murderer from the beginning", "father of lies". He is the sophisticated seducer of man's moral balance. He is the evil and cunning charmer who knows how to infiltrate everyone's individual psychology. He finds the open door and comes in: through our senses our imagination, and our concupiscence- what today we call fomite. Again, through utopian logic, disordered social contacts, bad friends, and bad worldly ideas, [ he slips ] into our actions and introduces deviations that are all the more deadly because they appear to conform to the physical or psychological and instinctive structure of our person: this is why temptation is so seductive. These structures run deep and influence our personality. He takes advantage of our own fabric, our make up, to enter our psychology subtly."
- Fr. Gabriele Amorth, chief exorcist of Rome.
Death stalks humanity but Grace took up the Cross and therein lies the mystery of suffering.
The irony of human logic and quantifying reason is its limited capacity in terms of the notion that a sickened and depraved mind does not respond to reason. The sick mind does not respond to reason. So why do we psychoanalyze, guaranteeing paralysis by analysis sequentially and conclusively, and expect the sick mind to heal, stabilize, and prosper. We analyze but do not listen intently in cooperation with the Spirit of counsel, we persist in the pursuit of discovering yet hidden answers but are blind to the evidence that stares us directly in the eye because we lack the gift of discernment, and most importantly we converse, banter, and postulate but we refuse to pray and to hear the Voice of the One who holds all Wisdom in the infinite confines of mystery.
"So general has the denial of sin been, that it has not been theologians who have resurrected the idea, but psychiatrists. Karl Menninger, of the Menninger Psychiatric Institute of Kansas has published a book entitled Whatever Became of Sin. He shows the slow devolution of the concept of sin. According to him, the moralists stopped preaching about sin because everything was love; then the jurists picked the theme, and sin under the law became crime. Then the psychiatrists took it up from the legalists, and then sin became a symptom or a complex. Some rather tragic effects have resulted from this denial of sin. First of all, we have many complexes that are produced by sin, and we are blind to the true cause, which is guilt."
- The late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
It needs to be conjectured at least deeply considered that the proliferation of mental disturbance, particularly the epidemic of depression, is a formidable offspring of the denial of sin, whether it be our personal reactive and proactive sin, or the sins committed against us by others, but without confessional reconciliation and absolution, and a spirit disposed to forgive all offenses, where else will one find genuine hope for the cure. Human depression is real and its consequences lead many to death or engineer deadly acts unfortunately and sorrowfully, but a pill to alter the labor of unhappy mood is not the panacea fundamentally, but serves as a means to and end and a momentary alleviation of symptom but is clearly not a cure. The inherent and elementary metaphysical nature of human psychology stands as a frustration to the intellect's prideful and selfish desire to penetrate the substance of Divine and sovereign ownership of enigma. We are called to trust and to love without expectation of the full answer to human suffering. The church militant holds the key intermittently of temporal remedy in Her abidingness, gravitating towards the fulfilment of eternal cure but we fail to use it time and time again. Only sacrificial love and genuine Christ like compassion reveal prayer of intercession and the spiritual work of Divine Mercy.
The catholicon lies in the mystery of the Cross and may only be obtained for some when they finally step beyond the divide between God and mankind, and gain entrance into the beatific vision. In the mean time, for those souls suffering the mental fruits of obscure mystical affliction, the courage of Veronica, the veil of her soul impressed upon by Divine bloody countenance, symbolizes the gauze of grace which sustains us, emblazons us, swaddling us with the Heavenly mantle of the Mystical Rose, securing maternally our brokenness to the breast of her beloved Son. He who is the Heart of the Father. Praise be to Jesus Christ. Pray for the Shepherds of the flock of the brethren, that when God places a tormented soul before their pastoral obligation, that such priestly representatives would listen but not deny, embrace but not turn away, and pray but not put off. So many lives should be saved!